Top 5 Style Tips from Labyrinth

As David Bowie’s 66th Birthday has just passed and been celebrated with a new single and announcement of a new album, it seems only fair that we look back to one of Bowie’s finest career moments. Jareth the Gobling King.

If you haven’t seen Jim Henson’s 1986 classic Labyrinth, you need to. Right now. On second thoughts, this article may actually give you enough information to spare yourself an hour and half.

If you have seen Labyrinth then you will be fully aware of how many fantastic parts of the film this article could discuss, it could be the, nowadays, sorely missed hand-made sets, it could be the brilliant and creative puppet design, it could even be that hyperreal king Ron Mueck had some fantastic art on display as part of the movie set. But no, it’s none of those, what I’m choosing to bring you is five of the best fashion tips from David Bowie himself. Oh Bowie, you freaky old bastard you.


5. Mullets are cool.

Despite it’s brief return amongst 16 year olds with Von Dutch trucker caps in 2005 the mullet is a long gone, awful haircut which is often a symbol of backwards, inbred, racist deep southern Americans. Jareth though is none of those! He just likes kidnapping children so they can turn into goblins and have a big sing-along. What’s the point of having a sing-a-long if you don’t look good?!

4. Accessories are essential to any outfit.

This is schoolboy stuff, but it truly works wonders. You could be tempted to throw on a wooly hat, or a scarf, maybe even some expensive diamond jewellery (if you’re part of N-Dubz) but Bowie takes accessories to the next level with a gigantic necklace and a fully working crystal ball. These might be difficult to get hold of, but once you’ve got one, don’t go anywhere without it.

3. If you’re going to a fancy ball, go masquerade.

I know, I’m bored of seeing the movie industry use fancy balls as an opportunity to get a James Bond wannabe in his fitted tuxedo. Seriously, who likes bow ties anyway!? Next time you have your ‘end of year dance’ just chuck on some ruffles and cover your face with a creepy mask. Women love it.

2. Eye Shadow isn’t just for girls.

It’s not only women and Ian Curtis who get away with wearing eye shadow. Albeit Ian Curtis’ wasn’t quite as extreme as Mr Bowie’s attempts. Frankly, this is some face deformation that even Jackie Stallone would be proud of. So when you want to add a bit of edge to your face, ignore Flight of the Conchord’s eyepatch tip, just put some crazy eye shadow on.

1. Skinny jogging pants are both practical and comfortable.

Winter is a great time to break in your new heavyweight dry denim, they’re big, they’re warm, the wet weather may help the fade a little, but they’re not exactly the most comfortable. Especially when you’re on a 13 hour mission to stop an innocent teenager from finding her baby brother that you’ve just kidnapped. So forget denim at all, just chuck on those jogging bottoms hiding in your wardrobe. Make sure they’re skinny fit though, no one wants to see excess material.