Top 5 Style Tips From: Dazed and Confused

The 70’s was a difficult time, disco happened, clothes were full of terrible patterns and bright colours, the world was either madly in love or fiercely at war. Plenty of films have documented/trivialised the Vietnam war along other serious aspects of the mixed decade. Dazed and Confused doesn’t even try any of that, it simply shows us the worries of being a freshman at high school, how to party and most importantly how to dress.

Matthew McConaughey is one of the films highlights and provides genuine sleazeball humour as David Wooderson, the ex high school attendant who still loves his younger chicks. He’s about four things, his car, rock ‘n’ roll, getting high and picking up chicks. Whilst Ben Affleck shows how great he is at being a dick and the rest of the cast, well they show us how we need to be dressing.

Alright, alright, alright. Let’s get this started.

5. Top Button? Don’t Even Think About the Second Button!!!

I know doing up your top button on a shirt seems to be a trend of recent years, heck, it’s one I’m guilty of myself (It’s just comfortable, alright!?) The boys of Dazed and Confused are certainly making me reconsider though. Next time I’ve got a loose fitting shirt on I’m making sure the top two buttons don’t even enter my mind. It doesn’t matter if you’re a 15 year old highschooler, go on, get that chest out! The chicks’ll go wild and you’re certain to make new friends too- even if they’re ten years older than you.

Remember though, if you’re meeting new people and you don’t have a joint on you, it’d be a lot cooler if you did.

4. You Don’t Have To Be In a 90’s Hip Hop Video to Wear Dungarees.

Think back to some of your old favourite 90’s hip hop artists, if you don’t have any then google some. I guarantee amongst their “east coast vs west coast” argument there is at least one person in the video/photo wearing dungarees.
Now if you’re Don Dawson you wear dungarees to school! And you do it 20 years ahead of the phony hip hop artists. Yeahhh, if you’re Don Dawson you do what you want. Rumour has it that wearing dungarees also gains you instant access to your high school football team, try it kids, try it.

Finally though, if you’re stuck in a place, you want to be able to look back and say that you did the best you could while you were stuck in that place. You had as much fun as you could while you were stuck in that place. You played as hard as you could while you were stuck in that place… Wore dungarees as often as you could while you were stuck in that place.

3. Floral Shirts Existed Before You Saw Them in Urban Outfitters.

Floral seems to be all the rage right now, but where did we get it from? The 70’s of course. Don’t be thinking you’re fresh or unique, your parents or grandparents probably did it before you. I don’t blame you for wearing them, it’s a strong look, but with that little pony tail on the top of your head you look like an idiot. Shave it off, start over, grow it out. Go for a Mitch Kramer cut.

Oh, if you’re reading this and know anyone who has that haircut and may be offended, please, whatever you do, don’t tell them to take it easy on me.

2. You Don’t Have To Be Samuel L. Jackson to Wear Kangol Hats Back to Front.

Admit it now, there’s no shame in it. We’ve all thought it, ‘I wish I was as cool as Sam Jackson, I just love his outfits in Jackie Brown!’ Well Dazed and Confused is here to teach us that we don’t have to be Sam Jackson to wear Kangol hats. Oh no. Quite the opposite in fact, we can be complete stoner nerds with long messy hair and we can still pull off the Big Sam. J look.

Remember, if you don the Kangol hat back to front and anybody asks you how it’s going, you make sure you answer with “Fixin’ to be a lot better, man.”

1. Salmon Flares, You Should Always Wear Salmon Flares.

This one feels the most time dependent out of the entire list, but seriously, I don’t even care. Don’t be surprised if the next time you see me I’m wearing salmon coloured flares. Flares have everything you want in a trouser, they’re tight, they’re baggy- what could possibly make them better? Salmon coloured ones, that’s what could make them better. If you’re unsure let me reassure you, David Wooderson wears them. There, you’re now assured that these are pretty fucking cool.

You’ll be picking up chicks all day long in these, you can go anywhere, the local emporium is a good start. There’s plenty of high school chicks down there and that’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. (Incase you haven’t noticed, each tip has been signed off with a quote- I’m in no shape or form interested in high school girls!)